Carlos Zambrano is supposed to be a cow. Or a bell. Or a lawnmower. Or something.

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Rick Telander of the Chicago Sun-Times has been saving his metaphors up all winter and was really excited to get them all out at once this morning:

Being the Opening Day pitcher is supposed to mean something.You’re the tone setter, the bell cow, the big swinging medallion
chosen by the manager as the symbol of the team. You mow ’em down, your buds rack ’em up. But Carlos Zambrano — who now has started more consecutive Opening
Days (six) than any other Cub — is not a bell cow. He’s a rambling,
tin-can eating goat who has lost his way.

A goat who has lost his way. Not like those homing-goats that all the other teams have.

The deadline is 8 PM ET Monday for Shohei Ohtani situation to be resolved

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Last Thursday, we learned that the MLBPA was challenging the Nippon Professional Baseball posting system, delaying Japanese superstar Shohei Ohtani’s move to Major League Baseball. The latest collective bargaining agreement removed a lot of the incentive for players to come to the U.S. by capping pay. Ohtani, for example, can only receive a signing bonus between $300,000 and $3.53 million while his team — the Nippon Ham Fighters — would receive $20 million for posting him.

Jon Morosi reports that the deadline for this issue to be resolved is 8 PM ET on Monday evening. He notes that key NPB officials have worked through the night in Japan to try to reach a resolution. It is possible that even if no agreement is reached, the deadline could be pushed further back.

Ohtani, 23, has become a heralded hitter and pitcher in Japan. At the plate over his five-year career, he has compiled a .286/.358/.500 triple-slash line with 48 home runs and 166 RBI in 1,170 plate appearances. On the mound, he has a 2.52 ERA with a 624/200 K/BB ratio across 543 innings.