Matt Stairs sheds 40 pounds, makes Padres

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Officially the Padres haven’t announced their Opening Day roster yet, but MLB.com’s Lyle Spencer reports that Matt Stairs has made the team as a left-handed bench bat.
Stairs is one of my favorite players in part because he takes every swing like he’s trying to murder the baseball, in part because he’s fearlessly sported a curly mullet for most his career, and in part because I’m amused by a 42-year-old who loses 40 pounds on an offseason diet after playing 17 years as a fat guy.
Stairs has had a remarkable career given that he didn’t play regularly in the majors until age 29. He homered 27, 26, and 38 times in his first three full seasons, knocking in 100 runs in 1998 and 1999, and has an .858 lifetime OPS with 30 homers per 550 at-bats against right-handed pitching.
And if Stairs can homer for the Padres, he’ll become the first player in baseball history to go deep for 12 different teams. He’s also one pinch-hit homer away from tying Cliff Johnson’s all-time record of 20.

Braves designate Josh Collmenter for assignment

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Last night Braves reliever Josh Collmenter surrendered three homers and seven runs in the 10th inning of a loss to the Pittsburgh Pirates. He came into the game when it was tied 5-5 so, yeah, ouch. Today Collmenter is on his way to no longer being a Braves reliever as he has been designated for assignment.

Collmenter made 11 appearances for the Braves, going 0-2 with a 9.00 ERA in 17 innings. If he doesn’t latch on someplace else he can take heart that his final act in the big leagues was striking out former MVP Andrew McCutchen. If only he hadn’t surrendered consecutive homers to David Freese, Jose Osuna and Jordy Mercer just before that. Oh well. Take the good with the bad.

Right-hander Matt Wisler, who has been no great shakes in the bigs himself, was called up from Triple-A Gwinnett before today’s series finale against the Pirates. He’s currently throwing mopup duty for Bartolo Colon, who got shelled for seven runs in four innings.

Given how Colon is going, maybe the Braves will be thinking about some more transactions soon.

Wanna feel old? Dusty Baker’s son Darren is graduating from high school

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Remember Darren Baker, the son of Nats manager Dusty Baker? If you do, it’s because you remember him as a three-year-old bat boy for the San Francisco Giants who, during Game 5 of the 2002 World Series, was almost run over at home plate only to be saved by Giants first baseman J.T. Snow. Simple math makes it obvious that the kid is now 18, but it still feels weird that so much time has passed.

Now Darren is graduating from Jesuit High School in Carmichael, California, so father Dusty will miss the Washington Nationals weekend series against the San Diego Padres to attend the ceremonies and festivities. Baker will rejoin Washington when they begin a three-game series in San Francisco on Monday. In the meantime, bench coach Chris Speier will assume managerial duties.

Time flies, man.