In Missouri, opium not as bad as steroids

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Let this be a lesson to you children: If you take steroids, you will never have a highway named after you.

In the wake of Mark McGwire’s admission that he took performance enhancing drugs, the Missouri Senate has decided that the stretch of I-70 in St. Louis – which runs near a stadium named after a beer company, by the way – should no longer be known as Mark McGwire Highway.

The bill, which would also name sections of other highways after noted (and presumably non-doping) Missourians, was passed by unanimous vote on Monday. It will now move to the House to waste yet more taxpayer dollars.

The hard part of this whole endeavor, of course, will be deciding whose names to put on all these highways.

Republican Sen. Kurt Schaefer of Columbia asked if those getting the honors were alive or dead. Schaefer says it might be wise to name roads only for the deceased, because they can’t do something worth changing the name over one day.

So there is a ray of hope for McGwire should he turn his life around in his remaining days on Earth. It’s also a practical plan, as dead people rarely go out of their way to ruin reputations, including their own.

The Senate proposes that the McGwire Highway should instead be named after Mark Twain, the legendary and beloved writer who was … ummm … also known to … err … frequent opium dens in San Francisco.

*Awkward silence*

Uh oh. Crap. Now what? Don’t tell anyone about that.

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Corey Seager will be included on Dodgers’ World Series roster

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Jon Heyman of FanRag Sports reports that Dodgers shortstop Corey Seager will be on the team’s World Series roster.

Seager, 23, played in the NLDS but was left off the NLCS roster due to a lower back injury suffered in Game 3 against the Diamondbacks. He had three hits, including a triple, in 15 plate appearances in that series. During the regular season, Seager hit .295/.375/.479 with 22 home runs, 77 RBI, and 85 runs scored across 613 PA.

Charlie Culberson and Chris Taylor handled shortstop while Seager was absent. Both players were among the Dodgers’ best performers in the NLCS. With Seager back in the fold, Taylor will play mostly center field and Culberson will return to his bench role.