Lenny Dykstra is back, with some more can't-miss investment advice

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There was a brief moment a couple years ago when a not-insignificant number of people believed that Lenny Dykstra was a financial genius capable of picking winning stocks like some sort of baseball Rainman.
Real Sports on HBO did a relatively fawning profile piece focused on Dykstra’s lavish lifestyle, Jim Cramer famously called him a “legend” in the investment world, and his various businesses thrived.
Eventually he declared bankruptcy, lost his $17.5 million home, was sued approximately a gazillion times, and auctioned off his World Series ring. And now Dykstra has a new website called “Nails Investments” where he offers stock picks and one-on-one advice for a monthly fee.
All of which got me thinking about where “Lenny Dykstra on investing” ranks on the list of “people giving advice about things.” For instance, near the top of the list would probably be stuff like “Albert Pujols on hitting a baseball” or “Derek Jeter on attracting women.” Near the bottom of the list would be things like “Aaron Gleeman on dieting” or “Craig Calcaterra on hair styles.”
My challenge to you, the Circling the Bases/Hardball Talk reader, is to come up with some things that would actually rank below “Lenny Dykstra on investing.” Winner gets exactly zero dollars, which is more than you’d probably make listening to his advice. Have at it …

Video: Jake Arrieta hits a 465-foot home run off of Zack Greinke

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Jake Arrieta‘s bat is in midseason form already. The Cubs’ ace swatted a solo home run to center field off of Zack Greinke in Thursday afternoon’s Grapefruit League exhibition game, his first homer of the spring.

The blast went 465 feet, according to MLB.com’s Daren Willman.

Arrieta has hit two home runs in each of the past two seasons. Madison Bumgarner (eight) and Noah Syndergaard (four) are the only other pitchers to match or exceed his output in that department.

Greinke, meanwhile, is hoping to bounce back after a miserable 2016 season. He finished with an uncharacteristic 4.37 ERA in 26 starts in his first year with the Diamondbacks.

Luis Valbuena to miss four to six weeks with a strained right hamstring

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Angels first baseman Luis Valbuena will miss the next four to six weeks with a strained right hamstring, Pedro Moura of the Los Angeles Times reports.

Valbuena, 31, signed a two-year, $15 million contract with the Angels in January and was on track to get the lion’s share of the playing time at first base. While he’s out, however, C.J. Cron will handle first base on a regular basis. When Valbeuna returns, the two will likely form a platoon.

Last year with the Astros, Valbuena hit a solid .260/.357/.459 with 13 home runs and 40 RBI in 342 plate appearances.