What's the deal with autographs?

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I’m not going to say that baseball news is slow, but this is one of the better things I’ve read today:

It always angers me that some athletes will go to great lengths to sign
legibly, and others will scribble their name, and be done with it.
Personally, I think it is a travesty for an athlete to sign his name in
such a way that you cannot decipher what it says. Now I realize that
players sign so much that it is ridiculous, and naturally some players
sign more than others, but you can’t tell me that a player can’t at
least write two or three letters that can be read by the average person.

Yeah, it’s that bad.  But at least it provides me a basis for jumping into a subject I raised on my old blog a couple of years ago and which probably worth raising again: what’s the freakin’ point of autographs? I simply don’t understand the appeal. Sure, I understand that they’re valuable, but why? On a simple level, an autograph is proof that you
were in the presence of someone famous.  But why should anyone else care that I — or some autograph dealer more likely — met someone famous? It’s like tulips or dotcom stocks or something. Price that doesn’t correspond with much if any value.

To be fair, the article linked above is about kids getting autographs and I sort of understand it for kids. They’re told by their parents that autographs are worth having, so kids seek them out.  If obtained in person, they’re a handy vehicle for getting the kid near the ballplayer, and that is kind of cool.  But isn’t the biggest takeway from that the fact that the kid actually stood next to the ballplayer and maybe said a word or two to him? I got Alan Trammell’s autograph when I was a kid. It’s in my basement somewhere and I haven’t looked at it in years. But I still vividly remember meeting him and talking to him, and I’d have the same emotional warm fuzzies about it if I had simply walked up to the crowd next to him and didn’t walk away with an autograph.

So sure, the kids can have their autographs because they may not go up to the ballplayer otherwise, but what about the grownups? It seems mildly twisted to me. A grownup either gets an autograph at a signing or by interrupting a celebrity in public.  If it’s the former, it’s just an act of commerce, so what’s so special about it?  If the latter, man, isn’t that kind of rude?  Can’t we invade their personal privacy simply by pointing our cameras and gawking and leave the final line — thrusting personal objects at them for them to handle, sign and return — uncrossed?

I’m not trying to be a total killjoy about this or anything. I have some autographs. Some — the ones I got myself as a kid, mostly — I like. Trammel, Gaylord Perry, Stan Musial, Al Kaline. Others I obtained in the course of my baseball card habit. For example, I never met George Brett, but I have his autograph on a ball and a 1980 Topps card. Same with Don Sutton and Eddie Matthews and Paul Molitor.  But either way, I’m not sure what I’m supposed to take from them. I’m not sure what they’re supposed to mean. I’m not sure I’d ever obtain another autograph for as long as I live.

Settling the Scores: Sunday’s results

ST. LOUIS, MO - JULY 24: Starter Mike Mayers #59 of the St. Louis Cardinals pitches against the Los Angeles Dodgers during the first inning at Busch Stadium on July 24, 2016 in St. Louis, Missouri. (Photo by Scott Kane/Getty Images)
Scott Kane/Getty Images
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Craig’s off through Wednesday, so it looks like it’s just you and me again.

Mike Mayers made his major league debut, starting for the Cardinals during Sunday night’s nationally broadcast game against the Dodgers. The 24-year-old must have felt like he was in a horror film, as the Dodgers tore him down limb-by-limb. Chase Utley led off the top of the first inning with a single. Corey Seager followed up with a single of his own and Justin Turner drew a walk. Adrian Gonzalez promptly unloaded the bases with a grand slam on a 2-2 slider, putting the Dodgers up 4-0 before Mayers was able to record the first out. Opposing starter Scott Kazmir would tack on two more runs with a single before Mayers could escape the inning.

Mayers got Seager out to start the top of the second inning, but back-to-back singles by Turner and Gonzalez followed by a three-run home run to Howie Kendrick would end the rookie’s night earlier than anticipated. He left trailing 9-1, recording only four outs. In his 1 1/3 innings, Mayers was on the hook for nine earned runs on eight hits and a pair of walks with one strikeout. It’s a rough way to start a career, but probably not indicative of his skill level. Mayers posted a combined 2.62 ERA in 18 starts split evenly between Double-A Springfield and Triple-A Memphis.

The Cardinals would make a game out of it, scoring twice in the bottom of the second to make it 9-3, then tacked on three more in the seventh before ultimately losing 9-6.

Box scores.

Blue Jays 2, Mariners 0
Diamondbacks 9, Reds 8
Orioles 5, Indians 3
Mets 3, Marlins 0
Red Sox 8, Twins 7
Padres 10, Nationals 6
White Sox 4, Tigers 3 (Game 1)
White Sox 5, Tigers 4 (Game 2)
Pirates 5, Phillies 4
Astros 13, Angels 3
Cubs 6, Brewers 5
Rangers 2, Royals 1
Rockies 7, Braves 2
Athletics 3, Rays 2
Yankees 5, Giants 2
Dodgers 9, Cardinals 6

The Rockies are promoting outfield prospect David Dahl

SAN DIEGO, CA - JULY 10:  David Dahl of the U.S. Team looks on prior to the SiriusXM All-Star Futures Game at PETCO Park on July 10, 2016 in San Diego, California.  (Photo by Harry How/Getty Images)
Harry How/Getty Images
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In a wave of prospect advancement news on Sunday, the Rockies have joined the fray. The Astros are calling up Alex Bregman. The Diamondbacks are calling up Braden Shipley. And the Rockies will call up outfield prospect David Dahl on Monday, Nick Groke of The Denver Post reports. The Rockies are expected to designate outfielder Brandon Barnes for assignment to create roster space.

Dahl, 22, was selected by the Rockies in the first round — 10th overall — in the 2012 draft. He started the season at Double-A, batting .278/.367/.500 with 13 home runs, 45 RBI, 53 runs scored, and 16 stolen bases in 322 plate appearances. He earned a promotion to Triple-A Albuquerque earlier this month. In 16 games there, Dahl has hit an outstanding .484/.529/.887 with five homers, 16 RBI, and 17 runs scored in 68 plate appearances.

Dahl is considered the Rockies’ second-best prospect and #40 overall in baseball according to MLB Pipeline. He got some camera time during the 2016 Futures Game two weeks ago, going 0-for-2.