Mascots beware: Randall Simon is still around

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Randall Simon played eight seasons in the majors, batting .283 with a decent .742 OPS as a part-time first baseman for six different teams, but he’s most famous for two things:
1) Braves teammate called him a “fat monkey” in an interview with Sports Illustrated.
2) During the mascot “Sausage Race” in Milwaukee he leaned out of the dugout and swung his bat at a female college student who was wearing the Italian sausage costume, knocking her to the ground and earning a fine for disorderly conduct.
Simon hasn’t played in the majors since 2006, but is still trying to grind out a baseball career and has signed with the Rockford RiverHawks of the independent Northern League. Upon acquiring the 34-year-old Simon they issued a statement saying: “He gives us some sort of identity of who we are and what we are about.”
In other words, spiced meats in and around the Rockford area may want to avoid RiverHawks games.

Jason Kipnis plans to play through a disgusting-looking ankle sprain

CLEVELAND, OH - OCTOBER 14:  Jason Kipnis #22 of the Cleveland Indians fields the ball against the Toronto Blue Jays during game one of the American League Championship Series at Progressive Field on October 14, 2016 in Cleveland, Ohio.  (Photo by Jason Miller/Getty Images)
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Jason Kipnis sprained his ankle while celebrating the Indians ALCS win over the Blue Jays. In the runup to tonight’s game, Terry Francona has said that Kipnis would be fine, that he’s a gamer, etc., etc. You know, the usual “when the bell rings, all of the aches and pains go away” kind of thing.

Today, however, we see that this sprained ankle is maybe not your run-of-the-mill late season bump or bruise:

Um, yikes.

Indians beat writer jumps in Lake Erie to settle a bet

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Back in September Cleveland Plain Dealer beat writer Paul Hoynes ruffled a lot of feathers when he declared the Indians DOA. His rationale: too many injuries to Indians starters weakened the club too greatly. Even if they did make the playoffs, Hoynes argued, they wouldn’t go far.

A reader made a bet with him at the time: if the Indians didn’t make the World Series, he’d jump in Lake Erie. If they did, Hoynes would.

Today Hoynes made good on his bet. You haven’t lived until you’ve seen a baseball writer drop trou, by the way: