How about this: Damon and the Reds

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In light of this morning’s news, that moderately panicked sound you hear is Scott Boras working the phones, desperately trying to find someone that will pay Johnny Damon $2,000,001, thereby saying Boras the indignity of being totally, completely, utterly and publicly pwned by the Yankees.  Two candidates: The Reds and Tigers, according to Jerry Crasnick.

The Tigers laughed out loud when Heyman and Boras tried to prop them up as a stalking horse earlier this month. They don’t want any part of him.  But what about the Reds?

On paper it makes some sense. Cincinnati is stuck with, what, Chris Dickerson as their left fielder? And as was the case in Yankee Stadium, the cozy dimensions of Great American Ballpark may play to Mr. Damon’s strengths.

But can the Reds afford it?  They had to have Scott Rolen rejigger his contract in order to make 2010 work already, and that was before they added the Aroldis Chapman dollars.  What’s more, I don’t think Walt Jocketty is deluded about his club’s chance to compete this year (i.e. they don’t have much of one).  Adding Damon may clearly separate the Reds from the Pirates and rocket them past the Astros, but isn’t that fourth place really the top end here? I’ll even go with third if the Cubs or Brewers run into some bad luck, but I think we can all agree that even with Damon, the Reds aren’t going to be knocking on the door of the playoffs.  This is a team that is building to compete in 2011 or 2012, so why throw the money away on Damon now?

At any rate, Damon texted Marc Carig of the Star-Ledger the other day and told him that he’d have a team by Saturday. It’s Wednesday afternoon. Either Scott had better start dialing faster or else there’s going to be a news conference early next week in which the Yankees re-introduce their supremely humbled bargain basement outfielder.

A fan fell into the Yankees’ dugout at Safeco Field

SEATTLE, WA - AUGUST 24:  A fan is escorted by police out of the New York Yankees dugout after climbing onto its roof, stumbling and falling into the dugout during the game against the Seattle Mariners at Safeco Field on August 24, 2016 in Seattle, Washington.  (Photo by Otto Greule Jr/Getty Images)
Otto Greule Jr/Getty Images
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Per Mark Feinsand of the New York Daily News, a fan fell into the Yankees’ dugout at Safeco Field in the eighth inning of Wednesday afternoon’s game against the Mariners.

The Yankees were heading into the bottom half of the inning when catcher Brian McCann heard “a loud thud” and looked over to find a fan laying on the dugout floor. According to McCann, the fan “basically knocked himself out.”

Manager Joe Girardi said the incident “kind of freaked me out, actually.”

McCann added, “You don’t know his intentions. It looked like he was trying to run on the field, but he didn’t make it there. It could have been worse.”

That McCann and Girardi aren’t immediately trusting of an uninvited visitor to the dugout has merit. In 2002, two fans ran onto the field and stabbed Tom Gamboa, then the Royals’ first base coach. Typically, fans that trespass are drunk and want attention, but to echo McCann’s sentiment, you never know.

Yu Darvish hit a home run

CINCINNATI, OH - AUGUST 24: Yu Darvish #11 of the Texas Rangers grounds into a double play in the second inning against the Cincinnati Reds at Great American Ball Park on August 24, 2016 in Cincinnati, Ohio. (Photo by Joe Robbins/Getty Images)
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There’s a headline you’ve never read before. Rangers starter Yu Darvish has taken 12 plate appearances in the major leagues over parts of four seasons and has yet to homer. Not surprising. He pitches in the American League and wasn’t a particularly great hitter when he pitched in Japan, either. He had four singles and a double in 38 PA over parts of seven seasons from 2005-11.

Which made this all the better:

That was a 1-2 fastball from Reds starter Tim Adleman and Darvish hit it out to dead center field at Great American Ball Park. That’s a ride.