A (very) brief moment to cut Mets some slack

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By my unofficial count, the two most entertaining pastimes these days are (a) spotting Tiger Woods lookalikes and (b) picking on the New York Mets.

We’ve done plenty of the latter just today. Here, here and here, in fact, for those of you who missed out on the fun.

But isn’t it all starting to get a little old? Do we really need to spend the whole offseason picking at the scabs of a destitute franchise that hasn’t been to the World Series since way back in 2000? (That’s pre-9/11 folks!) A team that hasn’t been in a pennant race since 2008, and which has no exciting stars to watch (aside from Johan Santana, David Wright, Francisco Rodriguez, Jose Reyes and Carlos Beltran)?

OK, maybe the Mets don’t have it so bad after all, and I imagine the poor folks in places like Kansas City, Pittsburgh and Washington (if they cared) are rolling their eyes at the massive sound of wringing hands emanating from Queens.

So the Mets aren’t the best-run franchise in the league. And maybe they have hired these guys to head up their medical staff.

But on the bright side, they have a beautiful, almost-brand-new ballpark that probably won’t fall down for another few years, the injured Beltran should be ready to play by May, and Oliver Perez only has two more years and $24 million left on his contract. (repeat after me: the glass is half full, the glass is half full)

On top of all of this comes the good news that Johan Santana is going to take his arm for a spin on Tuesday.

Santana is scheduled to pitch Tuesday during the Mets’ three-day minicamp at their spring training complex. He expects to ready for opening day after having bone chips removed Sept. 1.

“I’m feeling good. Time will tell, but I am feeling good,” the two-time Cy Young winner said Monday. “We did a pretty good job with the offseason, working out and doing all the rehab, and I’m feeling good. Everything is on schedule.”

*So you see there is reason for hope, and there will be a new spirit of Sunshine, Lollipops & Rainbows in Mets-land if Santana looks sharp on Tuesday. Remember, they were only 10 or 20 injuries away from contending last season.

*The author — and CTB in general — reserve the right to resume poking fun at the Mets without notice whenever it is deemed necessary.

Red Sox Triple-A team to ban people named Tyler and Austin from stadium on May 5 and 6 as part of promotion

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The Pawtucket Red Sox, obviously the Triple-A affiliate of the Red Sox, have come up with an interesting promotion for the weekend of May 5 and 6, when they host the Yankees’ Triple-A team from Scranton/Wilkes-Barre.

This, of course, references last week’s benches-clearing fracas between the Red Sox and Yankees that involved Joe Kelly and Tyler Austin. Kelly slid hard into second base, which upset Brock Holt. The benches emptied as the two jawed at each other, but no punches were thrown. Later in the game, Kelly threw at Austin and the benches emptied again. Punches were thrown this time and both players were given suspensions.

The major league Red Sox visit the Yankees May 8-10. As far as we’re aware, people named Joe or Kelly are allowed to attend.