Please, leave the Yankees caps alone

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I know it’s just a spring training cap and that they make the players wear them simply so that goobers like me will buy them, but if I assumed power of this country via a bloodless coup I’d outlaw this kind of thing.

Not that it’s the worst offender I’ve ever seen. It’s quite conservative, really.  I just don’t like the classics being messed with. And it’s not like I’d be that hard on anyone in my protectorate found wearing it. A fine is all I’d levy. Maybe some minor ear-boxing.

I’d save the death penalty for serious offenses like this.

Red Sox Triple-A team to ban people named Tyler and Austin from stadium on May 5 and 6 as part of promotion

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The Pawtucket Red Sox, obviously the Triple-A affiliate of the Red Sox, have come up with an interesting promotion for the weekend of May 5 and 6, when they host the Yankees’ Triple-A team from Scranton/Wilkes-Barre.

This, of course, references last week’s benches-clearing fracas between the Red Sox and Yankees that involved Joe Kelly and Tyler Austin. Kelly slid hard into second base, which upset Brock Holt. The benches emptied as the two jawed at each other, but no punches were thrown. Later in the game, Kelly threw at Austin and the benches emptied again. Punches were thrown this time and both players were given suspensions.

The major league Red Sox visit the Yankees May 8-10. As far as we’re aware, people named Joe or Kelly are allowed to attend.