Pirates close to signing Octavio Dotel

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Multiple tweetings of this news, which has been brewing for some time.

In other Pirates news, Maury Brown reports that they’re giving Ryan Church the #18 jersey.  Which used to be Andy Van Slyke’s number.  I always liked Andy Van Slyke.  I assume Pirates fans do too, even if the decision to keep him over Barry Bonds back in 1993 more or less began two decades in the wilderness for the club.

Not Van Slyke’s fault of course. But it’s not Def Leppard’s fault I got in that car wreck back in 1988 either, yet since “Hysteria” was in the tape deck at the time the Chevette started flipping, to this very day I can’t listen to “Rocket” while driving.

Miguel Montero to be designated for assignment

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A play in three acts:

I.

Miguel Montero talks smack about his teammate

II.

A team leader talks smack about Miguel Montero

III.

The Cubs get rid of Miguel Montero:

This is rather surprising. As I said in the last post, I figured he’d apologize today and it’d all be in the past. Guess not. Even more surprising: we learned earlier this week that the key to good clubhouse chemistry is having a teammate everyone hates. Guess that only works for the Giants.

Montero is making $14 million this season, so the Cubs are definitely eating some money to make a headache go away. They’re also losing some offensive production, as Montero has hit a nice .286/.366/.439 on the season. His terrible defense against opposing baserunners mitigates that, of course. And the whole “pissing off everyone in the clubhouse” thing isn’t exactly working out for him either, so here we are.

Oh well, have a good one, Miguel.

We now have photographic proof that Tom Ricketts and Ted Cruz are different people

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A lot of people think they have a double walking around someplace on Earth. They may actually be right. We have an example of this in baseball and politics.

Cubs owner Tom Ricketts looks a lot like Texas senator Ted Cruz. Or, since Ricketts is older, I guess Cruz looks like Ricketts. Either way, they could play brothers if someone put on, like, the worst ever production of some play about brothers.

If you’re not familiar with one or both of those guys, take a gander at the photo that was taken of the two of them in Washington this morning as the Cubs made the rounds with their World Series trophy:

If they put those rings together, Tom can turn into any animal and Ted can turn into anything made out of water. True story.