New Year's resolutions for all 30 teams

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I’m kinda mad I didn’t think of this bit myself, but FanHouse’s Matt Snyder does a pretty good job of it, so I’ll get over it:

Once the clock strikes midnight and the calendar turns to a new year,
millions of people decide they are going to change something about
themselves that they could just change on their own any other day of
the year. It’s a good excuse to make it seem like you are improving
yourself. Why should the 30 major league baseball teams be any
different? We can have some fun with this. Here’s my quick resolution
for each of them . . .

I can get on board with most of them. Well, maybe not the one where the Cardinals resolve to get Albert Pujols liquored up and trick him into signing a lifetime extension. I think the Cardinals have had enough trouble with alcohol over the years to where maybe hypnotism or subliminal messages would be better.

And the one in which the Mariners resolve to teach Milton Bradley accountability is a bit of a reach as well. They’re just going to cut the dude if he acts up, so why waste the time?

Finally, the Twins’ resolution to teach Joe Mauer third base should probably be chucked right now. It didn’t work for Johnny Bench, why would it work for Mauer? Sign him to a long term deal. Catch him until his knees give out. Move him to DH. Enjoy a nice sunny day in Cooperstown with him in about 20 years.

But happy new year anyway.

Nolan Reimold retires

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Former Orioles outfielder Nolan Reimold has retired, Michael Pfaff — president of the Long Island Ducks — announced on Twitter on Sunday.

Reimold, 33, was hitting .238/.359/.397 in 78 plate appearances with the Ducks. He was coming off of a disappointing 2016 campaign as a reserve outfielder with the O’s, finishing with a .664 OPS.

Over parts of eight seasons in the majors, Reimold hit .246/.323/.422 with 56 home runs and 174 RBI.

Mike Trout sprains thumb, to undergo MRI on Monday

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Angels outfielder Mike Trout sprained his left thumb and had to leave Sunday’s game against the Marlins. He underwent an X-ray, which revealed no fracture, but he is set to have an MRI on Monday for further evaluation, Jeff Fletcher of the Orange County Register reports.

Trout went 0-for-2 with a walk before exiting. The reigning AL MVP is batting .337/.461/.742 with 16 home runs, 36 RBI, 36 runs scored, and 10 stolen bases in 206 plate appearances this season. Needless to say, losing him for any amount of time would be a devastating loss for the Angels, who are 26-27 and tied for second place in the AL West.