Gookie Dawkins suspended for drugs. Yes, THE Gookie Dawkins.

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Remember Gookie Dawkins?  Formerly his claim to fame was taking over for Pokey Reese as the most ridiculously-named infielder on the Cincinnati Reds. In a serious lowering of standards, the title was assumed by Ray Olmedo upon Dawkins’ departure prior to the 2003 season.*

But Dawkins now has a new claim to fame: he’s been suspended for testing positive  — for a second time — for a drug of abuse. Matthew suggested headlining this story “Doobie Dawkins,” but I thought wouldn’t be right. I mean, it could be meth!

Anyway, this is all pretty shocking. The drugs, yes, but also the fact that Gookie Dawkins was still being paid to play baseball somewhere.

*By the way, I kind of wish Reese had stayed on the Reds for another season, because if he had they could have had the an infield consisting of a Corky, a Pokey, and a Gookie that year. Why this wasn’t an organizational goal is beyond me. If they had done that they would have been a Mookie and a Dummy away from being the best-named team since the dead ball era.

Video: The greatest — or worst — first pitch of all time

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The Red Sox are celebrating the 50th anniversary of the 1967 “Impossible Dream” team during Wednesday night’s series finale against the Cardinals. Jordan Leandre took the mound to throw out the first pitch. With past players lined up behind him, Leandre wound up and fired to home… juuuuust a bit outside. The ball hit photographer Tony Capobianco right in the family jewels.

Video from Bleacher Report’s Steve Perrault:

To his credit, Capobianco had a sense of humor about it:

Wil Myers stole second, third, and home in the same inning

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Padres first baseman Wil Myers hit an RBI single off of Nick Pivetta in the bottom of the fourth inning of Wednesday afternoon’s game, giving his team a 1-0 lead. He then proceeded to steal second base, then third base, and finally home on a double-steal, scoring the Padres’ second run.

Per CSN Philly’s Marshall Harris, it’s the first time a player has stolen all three bases in the same inning since Marlins second baseman Dee Gordon in 2011. Indeed, on July 1 that year, Gordon stole all three bases against Angels pitcher Bobby Cassevah.

Myers is currently batting .238/.322/.459 with 24 home runs, 59 RBI, 61 runs scored, and 14 stolen bases in 491 plate appearances this season.