The Baseball Trade Show is insane

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I just took a break from reading everyone’s tweets and admiring Mel Antonen’s haircut to walk over to the Convention Center to check out the Trade Show.  It’s really something to behold.

Geared more towards the minor leagues than the majors, the Trade Show is where some 300 exhibitors hawk wares ranging from caps, blankets, foam fingers, shot glasses, sports insurance, stadium architecture, concessions, bats, stadium seats, uniforms and any number of other odd things.

There are mascot costumes. There are fireworks — like the big kind that shoot up into the sky.  There’s an accounting firm that specializes in valuing minor league franchises. There’s a particularly spartan and serious booth set up by the Major League Baseball Department of Investigations, which is basically the group to whom you rat out teammates when you see horse hormones in their locker or when you just found out your manager threw the ballgame because he’s into that bookie Lazar for ten large. I got one of their cards — complete with the hotline number.  Next summer, let me know if you guys need anyone from your favorite team to be mysteriously suspended. I think I can make it happen.

Best booth by far: a company that hires out between-inning entertainment like “Breakin’ B-Boy McCoy,” the break dancing bat boy. Hey! He’s going to be in Columbus on June 11th next year! I’m so there!

Most importantly, however, there’s a booth set up by Jack Daniels. Yes, it is by the front door. Yes, I assume that it’s located there so that people are able to get their drink on before deciding whether or not they should buy stuff like this.

Crap. I bought two. What am I gonna do with the second one?

Red Sox Triple-A team to ban people named Tyler and Austin from stadium on May 5 and 6 as part of promotion

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The Pawtucket Red Sox, obviously the Triple-A affiliate of the Red Sox, have come up with an interesting promotion for the weekend of May 5 and 6, when they host the Yankees’ Triple-A team from Scranton/Wilkes-Barre.

This, of course, references last week’s benches-clearing fracas between the Red Sox and Yankees that involved Joe Kelly and Tyler Austin. Kelly slid hard into second base, which upset Brock Holt. The benches emptied as the two jawed at each other, but no punches were thrown. Later in the game, Kelly threw at Austin and the benches emptied again. Punches were thrown this time and both players were given suspensions.

The major league Red Sox visit the Yankees May 8-10. As far as we’re aware, people named Joe or Kelly are allowed to attend.