CSI: Buster Olney

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Miguel Cabrera has apologized to his teammates and the Tigers have been eliminated, so the whole issue of him getting his drink on and getting violent is now less a public matter than it is a matter between Cabrera, his wife, his team, his health and the law, but I’d be remiss in not pointing out Buster Olney’s piece on it all today.  He contacted an expert to determine whether or not Cabrera was still drunk at gametime last Saturday. The upshot:

Jim Fell, the Director for Traffic Safety and Enforcement Programs of the Pacific Institute for Research and Evaluation, in Calverton, Md., said in a phone interview that the typical person processes alcohol at the rate of about .015 per hour, which means that someone with a blood alcohol level of .26 would need about 17 hours for the alcohol to clear his or her system. An experienced drinker would metabolize alcohol at about .020 per hour . . . an experienced drinker would have required 13 hours to metabolize alcohol at that level.

Based on the time of the BAC test and first pitch, that means that if Cabrera metabolizes booze like an experienced drinker, he was at a .08 at the time he showed up at the ballpark and a .02 at first pitch.  If he’s more of a regular Joe, he would have been a .08 at game time. Of course, Olney’s expert did not factor in the healing power of Sausage McMuffins in all of this, so I’m a bit dubious of the results. 

That aside, I’m inclined to think Cabrera would be better off if he metabolized like a normal person. A BAC of 08 is probably buzzed. With a .02, you’re likely entering full-blown hangover mode.  Your mileage may vary, but while being sober is always preferable, drinkers I know — and Cabrera sounds like one — tend to function a tad better with a little grease in the gears than they do when the gears are grinding following a bender.

Anyone who wants to take their last shots at Cabrera had better do so in the comments, because I’m not writing about him again until the inevitable “Cabrera enters rehab” story comes out.

Bobby Valentine on short list to be U.S. Ambassador to Japan

NEW YORK, NY - SEPTEMBER 12:  Former MLB player Bobby Valentine attends Annual Charity Day hosted by Cantor Fitzgerald, BGC and GFI at BGC Partners, INC on September 12, 2016 in New York City.  (Photo by Larry Busacca/Getty Images for Cantor Fitzgerald)
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There is literally nothing you could tell me that the incoming administration is considering which would shock me anymore. As such, I saw this story when I woke up this morning, blinked once, took a sip of coffee, closed the browser window and just went on with my morning, as desensitized as a wisdom tooth about to be yanked.

Rob Bradford of WEEI reports that Former Red Sox, Mets and Rangers manager Bobby Valentine is on a short-list of candidates for the job of United States Ambassador to Japan:

The 66-year-old, who currently serves as Sacred Heart University’s athletics director, has engaged in preliminary discussions with President-elect Donald Trump’s transition team regarding the position.

When contacted Thursday night, Valentine refused comment.

Huh. Given his history, I’d have assumed Valentine would be a better choice for the CIA, but what do I know?

Valentine managed the Chiba Lotte Marines of Japan’s Pacific League for six seasons, leading the team to a championship in 2005. He also knows the current prime minister of Japan, Shinzo Abe, as both went to USC. Assuming championship teams meet the country’s leader in Japan like they do in the United States, Valentine has at least twice the amount of experience with top political leaders than does, say, Ned Yost, so that’s something.

The former manager, more importantly, is friends with Donald Trump’s brother, with the two of them going way back. Which, given how this transition is going, seems like a far more important set of qualifications than anything else on this list.

Report: Dexter Fowler will take a physical in St. Louis on Friday

CLEVELAND, OH - NOVEMBER 02:  Dexter Fowler #24 of the Chicago Cubs reacts after lining out during the third inning against the Cleveland Indians in Game Seven of the 2016 World Series at Progressive Field on November 2, 2016 in Cleveland, Ohio.  (Photo by Ezra Shaw/Getty Images)
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Update (8:51 PM EST): The deal is in place, according to Heyman.

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Update (8:27 PM EST): Derrick Goold of the St. Louis Post-Dispatch reports that the Cardinals made an “over-the-top offer” to Fowler to ensure he’d sign.

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Frank Cusumano of KSDK Sports reports that free agent outfielder will take a physical in St. Louis on Friday. Presumably, that means that Fowler and the Cardinals have gotten pretty far along in negotiations.

Jon Heyman of FanRag Sports recently reported that Fowler was looking for $18 million per year. The Blue Jays reportedly made an offer to Fowler in the four-year, $16 million range several days ago. The Cardinals’ offer to Fowler, if there is indeed one, is likely somewhere between the two figures.

Fowler, 30, is coming off of a fantastic year in which he helped the Cubs win their first World Series since 1908. During the regular season, he hit .276/.393/.447 with 13 home runs, 48 RBI, 84 runs scored, and 13 stolen bases in 551 plate appearances.

Fowler rejected the Cubs’ $17.2 million qualifying offer last month. While the QO compensation negatively affected Fowler’s experience in free agency last offseason — he didn’t sign until late February with the Cubs — his strong season is expected to make QO compensation much less of an issue.