Ted Williams' corpse was allegedly abused

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Most of us thought it was pretty wacky when Ted Williams’ late son John had the Splendid Splinter’s body frozen in liquid nitrogen following his 2002 death, but based on a new book coming out, we had no idea just how wacky it really was. Wait, wacky isn’t the right word. Try “horrific”:

Workers at an Arizona cryonics facility mutilated the frozen head of baseball legend Ted Williams — even using it for a bizarre batting practice, a new tell-all book claims.

In “Frozen,” Larry Johnson, a former exec at the Alcor Life Extension Foundation in Scottsdale, Arizona, graphically describes how The Splendid Splinter” was beheaded, his head frozen and repeatedly abused . . .Johnson writes that in July 2002, shortly after the Red Sox slugger died at age 83, technicians with no medical certification gleefully photographed and used crude equipment to decapitate the majors’ last .400 hitter.

Williams’ severed head was then frozen, and even used for batting practice by a technician trying to dislodge it from a tuna fish can.

I highly encourage you to read the whole article — the only one you’ll read today with the sentence “spraying “tiny pieces of frozen head” around the room.”

I likewise encourage you to consider cremation.

Kyle Schwarber: Before and After

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It’s always a bit deceiving to see offseason workout photos of players who are said to be getting into great shape because guys in those pics are wearing compression shirts and crap and we’re used to seeing them in baseball uniforms. I remember pics of Miguel Cabrera and David Ortiz in the offseason looking svelte, only to see them in uniform come spring as their familiar beefy selves. Uniforms are often loose and billowy and the players wear  a couple of layers when they’re suited up, so at least visually speaking it’s better to compare apples to apples.

Which brings us to Kyle Schwarber. All offseason long we’ve been getting reports about Schwarber working out, losing weight and, of course, getting into The Best Shape of His Life. And some of those pics have definitely shown a young man who has cut fat and gotten lean. Good for him!

Let’s see how that translates to Schwarber in uniform. Here is is at spring training last year:

MESA, AZ – FEBRUARY 21: Kyle Schwarber #12 of the Chicago Cubs poses during Chicago Cubs Photo Day on February 21, 2017 in Mesa, Arizona. (Photo by Jamie Squire/Getty Images)

 

Here he is toward the end of last season:

CHICAGO, IL – SEPTEMBER 09: at Wrigley Field on September 9, 2017 in Chicago, Illinois. (Photo by Jonathan Daniel/Getty Images)

And here he is now:

MESA, AZ – FEBRUARY 20: Kyle Schwarber #12 of the Chicago Cubs poses during Chicago Cubs Photo Day on February 20, 2018 in Mesa, Arizona. (Photo by Gregory Shamus/Getty Images)

 

Nice goin’, kid.