And That Happened: Monday's scores and highlights

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Angels 11, Rangers 0: The Angels clinch the West, and in a fit of wrongheadedness so comically tragic that it strains credulity, they soak the jersey of a victim of a fatal drunk driving accident with beer and champagne in celebration. Here’s hoping that someone in Angels’ management was passing out cab vouchers last night.

Tigers vs. Twins, POSTPONED: I usually put rainouts last, but this rainout was more significant than most of the actual games that were played last night. Not sure whether a doubleheader today gives either team a big advantage. The Twins have a better bullpen, but the Tigers are going with two starters — Porcello and Verlander — who will make their own bullpen less important by comparison. All I know is that if I was in Detroit tomorrow I’d probably be skipping work. Heck, the wine I ordered when I was out in California last week is getting delivered today, so I may skip work anyway.

Pirates 11, Dodgers 1: John Russell lifted Zach Duke with one out to go for a complete game. Russell’s explanation: that he wanted to give Duke a standing ovation as he left the mound. Sorry John, this ain’t basketball and I ain’t buyin’ it. My guess: Russell is in a fantasy league in which CGs are a stat and the guy he’s battling for first place owns Duke. It’ll be a scandal if people can ever prove it. Like the Pete Rose thing, but boring. As for the rest of the game: Andy LaRoche homered twice, doubled twice and singled, driving in six runs. Some genius once told me that homers were rally killers. They’re also cycle killers, so your failure was two-fold, Mr. LaRoche. So, L.A.? Is this how you’re gonna bring it against Philly or Atlanta or whoever you get next week? Good luck with that.

Braves 4, Marlins 0: I don’t know if the Rockies are going to cooperate and lose two or three games before Sunday, but if they do, ain’t nobody gonna want to face the Braves in the playoffs. Based on some stuff I read yesterday, there are still some people who don’t quite appreciate how awesome Jair Jurrjens is (“middle of the rotation starter?“). I wouldn’t trade the dude — who shut the Marlins out over seven — if the money for Fielder was dead even.

Astros 8, Phillies 2: Well, I suppose it’s possible that the Braves AND Rockies could make the playoffs. Such a collapse would be damn nigh historic as far as collapses go, but as I sit here this morning anything seems possible. I thought the 1987 Blue Jays had the division wrapped up too.

Rays 7, Orioles 6: If the Rays were to move from St. Pete after building a new stadium in Tampa or Branden or Riverview or something, could they change their name to the East Bay Rays? Because that would be cool.

Blue Jays 11, Red Sox 5: This one was called in the seventh inning because of rain and the mercy rule and the fact that three-fourths of the Red Sox roster is having spasms of some kind this week. Michael Bowden gave up seven runs on seven hits and a walk in a spot start for Beckett. In this he was like the substitute teacher who would just put on the “Free To Be You and Me” video, read her Better Homes and Gardens magazine and let the class run amok the entire period. Not that we all didn’t stop when Rosey Grier sang “It’s alright to cry,” some of us because we were touched, others because we couldn’t believe our frickin’ eyes. Man, being born in the 70s sucked.

White Sox 6, Indians 1: It blows my mind that, despite how nightmarish a season it has been for the Royals, they could once again finish out of the cellar and ahead of a team everyone thought would go to the playoffs when camp broke. But here are the Indians, losing again and letting this race go down to the wire.

Yankees 8, Royals 2: Not that Kansas City is going to go down without a fight. Luke Hochevar, pitched a three hit shutout a couple of starts ago, got shelled for eight runs on 12 hits in six innings. Atta boy, Lukey, always keep ’em guessing! This performance, by the way, came against a Yankee lineup containing such luminaries as Brett Gardner, Eric Hinkse, Shelley Duncan, Juan Miranda, and Frank Cervelli.

Nationals 2, Mets 1: Helen Keller once said “The most pathetic person in the world is someone who has sight, but has no vision.” She went on to say that the second most pathetic person in the world is any Mets fan who hasn’t jumped ship before now.

Watch: Mike Trout ties MLB record with his 25th home run

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It was only a matter of time before Mike Trout courted another all-time record, and on Saturday, he found himself in elite company with his 25th and 26th home runs of the season. He put the Angels on the board with a 429-foot blast in the first inning, depositing an 0-1 fastball from the Orioles’ Kevin Gausman into the left field bleachers:

In the third inning, with the Angels up 2-1, Trout returned to tack on another insurance run. He targeted Gausman’s slider for his second solo shot of the evening and cleared the center field fence with a 418-footer to bring his total to 26 home runs on the year.

Trout has mashed at a staggering .339/.471/.596 clip since his return from the disabled list last month, and Saturday’s totals helped mark his sixth consecutive season with at least 25 home runs. That’s a record few have matched before their age-26 season; in fact, only Hall of Fame sluggers Eddie Mathews and Frank Robinson have ever pulled it off.

Assuming he continues to rake in hits and plate appearances over the last six weeks of the regular season — and there’s nothing to indicate that he won’t — Trout is in line to join elite company of a different kind. The 26-year-old entered Saturday’s game with a 206 OPS+ (park-adjusted on-base plus slugging). According to MLB.com’s Matt Kelly, that means Trout’s hitting at a better clip than the average Major League player by a full 106 percent. Should he finish the year with a 200 OPS+ and 502 plate appearances or better, he’ll be the first player to do so since Barry Bonds obliterated the competition with his 263 OPS+ in 2004.

Blue Jays acquire Tom Koehler from Marlins

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The Blue Jays acquired right-hander Tom Koehler from the Marlins in exchange for minor league right-hander Osman Gutierrez and cash considerations, the clubs announced Saturday. Koehler is in his sixth year with the Marlins and stands to make $5.75 million in 2017. He’ll be arbitration eligible in 2018 and is set to enter free agency by 2019.

The 31-year-old right-hander struggled to a 7.92 ERA, 4.7 BB/9 and 7.1 SO/9 over 55 2/3 innings with Miami in 2017. He was optioned to Triple-A New Orleans in late July, where he rebounded with a 1-1 record in seven starts and whittled his ERA down to a 1.67 mark. The Blue Jays have yet to establish Koehler’s role within their organization, but are hoping to see a turnaround from the righty when he breaks back into the big leagues.

Gutierrez, 22, was assigned to Single-A Greensboro on Saturday. He has yet to find his footing in the minors, and exited a 78-inning stint with Single-A Lansing after racking up a career-worst 7.85 ERA and 8.2 SO/9. His lack of control is particularly alarming, with a 6.2 BB/9 that dwarfs the 2.0+ BB/9 of seasons past, but he still has plenty of time to figure out his mechanics before reaching the Show.