And That Happened: Sunday's scores and highlights

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Yankees 4, Red Sox 2: The Bombers clinch, win 100, guarantee home field, etc. Inevitable, but the exuberance looked a little less rote yesterday than I seem to remember it in years past. I think those who have been there a while have a new appreciation for making the post season after what happened last year. The guys like Sabathia and Teixeira probably feel like a lot of weight has been taken off their shoulders. At least for a week or so. This is strange to me: “The Yankees have the choice of whether they want to play in the division series that has a day off between Games 1 & 2.” Time out. Why do they get to choose? I mean, why don’t I get to choose, why doesn’t he get to choose? Better question: why isn’t that sort of thing just set up ahead of time? I actually thought it was.

Rockies 4, Cardinals 3: If the Braves miss the playoffs by one game I’m going to blame Matt Holliday’s hangover. Oh, I’m sorry, his “flulike symptoms” which just happened to show up the morning after the Cardinals doused themselves in booze for clinching the division. Their second most important hitter misses the day and Ryan Ludwick and Mark DeRosa combine to go 0-6 with five strikeouts. You telling me Matt Holliday couldn’t have managed one extra flare beyond what Ludwick and DeRosa did? Just one? A gork, a ground ball with eyes, a dying quail . . . just one more dying quail and the Cardinals could have won this game and the Braves would be one back in the loss column. Damnation.

Braves 6, Nationals 3: I wrote my team off so many times this year — and for good reason — that I feel like getting all giddy now would be like taking back a cheating girlfriend or something. But there they are, looking all fine and everything. I just know that if I lower my guard they’ll hurt me again, but I can’t keep my eyes off of them. Dude, seriously: don’t let me walk over there. I don’t care how much I drink tonight, do NOT let me walk over there and talk to them. And take my cell phone too. I just don’t trust myself . . . . . . . OK, give me my cell phone back. C’mon, I promise I’ll be cool.

Pirates 6, Dodgers 4: Ugly ending for Los Angeles, blowing a three run lead in the ninth to some dudes who stole the Pirates’ uniforms. Worth noting that L.A. was boned by Matt Holliday’s hangover too, as a Rockies loss would have given them the division title. They’ll get it though. More worrisome for L.A. was that Clayton Kershaw, though arguably effective, was kinda wild in his first game back since separating his shoulder. He’ll get one more start before the playoffs, and I’m sure the Dodgers would like to see him a bit sharper.

Phillies 6, Brewers 5: Dave Bush put the Brewers in a 6-1 hole, the offense came back, but it wasn’t enough and the Phillies magic number is down to three.

White Sox 8, Tigers 4: Detroit stumbles into the showdown with Minnesota with both Edwin Jackson and Fernando Rodney getting roughed up.

Royals 4, Twins 1: Minnesota doesn’t take advantage of Detroit’s stumble, but you have to figure that they had this one — a Zack Greinke start — penciled in as a loss anyway. Just another day at the office for Greinke (7 IP, 7 H, 1 ER, 8K). Less expected was Yuniesky Betancourt’s day (3-3, HR, 3 RBI).

Giants 5, Cubs 1: Matt Cain was dominant, shutting out the Cubs over eight innings. Eugenio Velez on the Giants’ playoff hopes: “We have to win all of our games and they have to lose all of their games. That’s how we have to look at it.” Eugenio, the chances of that happening are, like, a million to one. Velez: So you’re telling me there’s a chance… Yeah!

Rays 7, Rangers 6: If you’ve got a 5-0 lead with two outs in the eighth, you had best hold on to it. More Eugeino Velez thinking: the Rangers are still technically in the wild card race, much like I’m technically qualified to be President of the United States and technically capable of settling down and having a couple of kids with Salma Hayek.

Angels 7, Athletics 4: With this win and the Rangers’ loss, Anaheim merely need one of its next four games — all of which come against Texas — to seal the deal.

Mets 4, Marlins 0: File “Pat Misch throws a shutout” in the “stuff I didn’t expect to see before the season ended” drawer. Jeff Francoeur hit a homer and made a home run saving catch in support of Misch. Francoeur: “He’s going to buy me dinner and beers.” Jeffy, you really think it’s a good idea to keep track of when other people save your bacon? If people did that for you, you’d have spent enough on dinner and beer by this point to hold substantial stakes in Anheuser-Busch and several restaurant companies by now.

Diamondbacks 7, Padres 4: Adrian Gonzalez hits his 28th road home run this year vs. 12 at home. Man, if this guy played anywhere else but Petco Park . . .

Indians 9, Orioles 0: “It’s been a rough 10 games for us,” Baltimore manager Dave Trembley said after the game. The 145 before that weren’t a friggin’ picnic either, to be honest.

Blue Jays 5, Mariners 4: Seattle squanders 3-0 and 4-2 leads as the Blue Jays finish the season on a fairly strong note.

Astros 3, Reds 2: Wandy Rodriguez (6 IP, 9 H, 2 ER, 9K) is about the only good thing that has happened to Houston this year.

Just one note: you shouldn’t be surprised that the recaps for some of these games featuring non-contenders are going to be a bit cursory this last week of the season. I mean, sure, it’s possible that I’ll find myself on my deathbed one day saying “boy, I wish I had spent more time thinking about late September Astros-Reds games,” but I just sort of doubt it. If you’re a partisan of one of these dead teams walking and you really feel like I missed something important, by all means, let us know in the comments. I’ll edit the recaps to include really good stuff I learn after the fact.

Let’s play the “how long has it been since the Cubs won the World Series?” game!

1908 Cubs
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It started with a no-good St. Louis Cardinals fan being a troublemaker. That no-good Cardinals fan was Drew Silva, who began things innocently enough, noting that, despite their dominance this season, any team can theoretically beat the Chicago Cubs in a short series because that’s just how baseball goes:

Cubs fans started giving him guff for that, so Drew gave some back:

And with that it was on like Donkey Kong (a super old video game which was not invented for another 73 years after the Cubs last won the World Series). I tweeted this:

And with that, my followers went crazy. Here’s a sampling of some of the best ones:

And, for that matter . . .

Too soon. Unlike the last Cubs World Series title.

Like I said, this was just a sampling. I’ve retweeted a ton more on my timeline and those I didn’t retweet can be seen in the replies here. My favorite one may have been “literally the invention of sliced bread,” which debuted in 1912, but I can’t find that tweet.

Please, Cubs fans, have a sense of humor about this. You have a wonderful ballpark that is not named after a third tier mortgage company, a grand history that is fantastic even if it hasn’t featured any championships and a future that is as bright or brighter than any other team out there. Maybe even come up with some of your own in the comments! History is fun! As is self-deprecation! What I’m saying is don’t be salty about this sort of thing. Salty is a bad look.

In other news, the Morton Salt Company was incorporated in 1910, two years after the Cubs last World Series victory.

The Dodgers have rebuffed lowball offers for Yasiel Puig

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Jon Heyman reports that the Dodgers have “rebuffed offers” for Yasiel Puig.

Heyman says teams “appear to be bottom feeding for Puig,” making lowball trade proposals. The Dodgers may not have big future plans for Puig, but nor are they gonna sell low on him. And heck, maybe they have bigger plans for him now than they did a couple of weeks ago. He’s batting .396/.448/.698 with four home runs and 12 RBI in 14 games since his demotion to Triple-A Oklahoma. The guy who replaced him, Josh Reddick, is hitting .143/.211/.157 in 20 games since the Dodgers acquired him.

I doubt Puig steps foot in the Dodgers clubhouse before the end of the year, but it’s not like they can’t hold off and trade him in the offseason when teams can imagine him looking good in their uniform next spring.