With three more losses, the Pittsburgh Pirates will be guaranteed their 17th consecutive losing season, something no other major American professional sports team has been inept enough to pull off.
Take a moment to consider the enormity of that feat. There are kids just about out of high school who have NEVER seen the Pirates finish even 81-81, let alone threaten to win a championship. The last time the Pirates had a winning season …
— Hannah Montana was about to enter the world.
— It was Iraq war, not wars.
— Jay Leno replaced Johnny Carson as host of the Tonight Show.
— Madonna turned 34, which is how old A-Rod is now.
So are the Pirates the worst U.S. sports franchise ever? It’s tempting to say so, but 17 years is a long time, and our memories are short. The Pirates used to be proud, used to be talented.
They’ve got five championships and nine pennants on their resume, and of their 128 seasons, 69 of them have been winning campaigns.
So they’ve been terrible in recent years, and their current team isn’t worthy of cleaning the bathrooms in that beautiful stadium. But worst ever? Afraid not. Not even the worst in baseball history.
Pick on the Astros, or the Mariners or the Rangers or the Brewers. But lay off the Pirates. At least for now.
Of course, there’s still time.
If you Twitter, and can appreciate a happy Pirates story, follow me at @Bharks.
Major League Baseball announced that Boston Red Sox manager John Farrell has received a one-game suspension and an undisclosed fine for his actions during an argument with third base umpire Bill Miller in the top of the seventh inning of the Sox’ game against the Angels on Saturday night at Fenway Park.
The argument was over a balk call on Fernando Abad, which brought in a run for the Angels. It wasn’t Miller’s call — home plate ump Ryan Blakney made the call — but Miller is the crew chief. Things got pretty animated as Farrell got face-to-face with Miller and the spittle flew:
Managers do not have the right to appeal a suspension, so Farrell will be sitting out tonight’s game against the Twins.
Last Tuesday night, the Braves hosted the San Francisco Giants at SunTrust Park. They lost 6-3. An Alabama man named Marcus Stephens almost came away a winner, however. At least if stealing a $4,500 golf cart that belongs to the Braves makes you a winner, which in some circles I suppose it would.
Stephens lost, however, when he crashed the cart into a metal pole, attempted to flee on foot and was apprehended by Cobb County Sheriff’s deputies. This all went down at 1:40AM Wednesday morning. The report doesn’t mention anything about alcohol being involved but I’ve read enough stories like this to make educated guesses about such things.
That being said, Stephens seems relatively composed in his mugshot:
I mean, yeah, the eyes look a bit red and puffy and the overall vibe he gives off is “I came to the game as part of the Sigma Nu reunion (Auburn University class of ’06, WAR DAMN EAGLE!),” but I expected much worse after reading the headline.
Anyway, dude is out on bail. Somewhere, someone is really super proud of him, I’m sure.