Attacking Red Sox Nation

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Those of us outside the Nation do it all the time, but it’s not often you see it on the pages of the Boston Globe.  Take it away Tom Scocca!

What the Red Sox most resemble, here in 2009, is some unholy amalgamation of the postwar Brooklyn Dodgers and the Grateful Dead. The Dodgers have been mythologized by fans like Doris Kearns Goodwin – not by chance, a vocal member of Red Sox Nation – as lovable underdogs, but in their day they were neither underdogs nor lovable. They were simply the second-biggest bullies in baseball, a rich and successful franchise that could be counted on to beat up the rest of the National League and to get beaten up on by the Yankees.

Red Sox fans don’t even wait for the passage of time to worship the mysteries of their own team. The blue-shirted, pink-hatted crowds descend on other cities’ ballparks for a mass smug-in whenever the Sox are on the road . . . Like Deadheads, they’re indifferent to what city they’ve trailed into, so long as they’re bathing in the presence of like-minded worshippers: Yoooook! Duuuuude!

Rebuttals and concurrences can be submitted in the comments.

Hisashi Iwakuma’s 2017 option vests, but salary still undetermined

OAKLAND, CA - AUGUST 13: Hisashi Iwakuma #18 of the Seattle Mariners pitches against the Oakland Athletics in the bottom of the third inning at the Oakland Coliseum on August 13, 2016 in Oakland, California. (Photo by Thearon W. Henderson/Getty Images)
Thearon W. Henderson/Getty Images
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With last Wednesday’s start against the Yankees, Mariners hurler Hisashi Iwakuma pushed his 2016 innings total up to 2016. That clears the 162-inning hurdle for his 2017 option to vest at $14 million. However, as Steve Adams of MLB Trade Rumors reports, the language in Iwakuma’s contract also stipulates that the right-hander finish the season without suffering a specific injury.

Iwakuma, 35, was in agreement with the Dodgers on a three-year contract back in December but failed the physical, which nullified the deal. He ended up signing with the Mariners on a one-year, $12 million deal with a full no-trade clause and club options for 2017 and ’18 that vest at specific inning thresholds (162 each or 324 for both seasons).

This season, Iwakuma has stayed healthy, making 26 starts to the tune of a 14-9 record, a 3.81 ERA and a 118/36 K/BB ratio in 163 innings.

Ichiro Suzuki passes Wade Boggs for 27th on baseball’s all-time hits list

MIAMI, FL - AUGUST 28: Ichiro Suzuki #51 of the Miami Marlins grounds out during the 2nd inning against the San Diego Padres at Marlins Park on August 28, 2016 in Miami, Florida. (Photo by Eric Espada/Getty Images)
Eric Espada/Getty Images
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Marlins outfielder Ichiro Suzuki deposited a single to left-center field in the fourth inning of Monday night’s game against the Mets, then added a double to center field in the eighth. Those mark hits No. 3,010 and 3,011 for Suzuki in his major league career, tying and then moving past Wade Boggs for sole possession of 27th on baseball’s all-time hits list.

Suzuki would come around to score on a double by Xavier Scruggs to break a scoreless tie in the eighth.

Here’s the video of Ichiro’s first hit.

By the end of the season, Suzuki will have presumably moved ahead of Rafael Palmeiro (26th; 3,020) and Lou Brock (25th; 3,023).

Suzuki was 2-for-4 after the double. With baseball’s fifth month nearly complete, the 42-year-old is currently batting .298/.371/.373.