Attacking Red Sox Nation

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Those of us outside the Nation do it all the time, but it’s not often you see it on the pages of the Boston Globe.  Take it away Tom Scocca!

What the Red Sox most resemble, here in 2009, is some unholy amalgamation of the postwar Brooklyn Dodgers and the Grateful Dead. The Dodgers have been mythologized by fans like Doris Kearns Goodwin – not by chance, a vocal member of Red Sox Nation – as lovable underdogs, but in their day they were neither underdogs nor lovable. They were simply the second-biggest bullies in baseball, a rich and successful franchise that could be counted on to beat up the rest of the National League and to get beaten up on by the Yankees.

Red Sox fans don’t even wait for the passage of time to worship the mysteries of their own team. The blue-shirted, pink-hatted crowds descend on other cities’ ballparks for a mass smug-in whenever the Sox are on the road . . . Like Deadheads, they’re indifferent to what city they’ve trailed into, so long as they’re bathing in the presence of like-minded worshippers: Yoooook! Duuuuude!

Rebuttals and concurrences can be submitted in the comments.

Josh Johnson retires from baseball

PEORIA, AZ - FEBRUARY 21: Josh Johnson #55 of the San Diego Padres poses during Picture Day on February 21, 2014 at the Peoria Sports Complex in Peoria, Arizona. (Photo by Mike McGinnis/Getty Images)
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Oft-injured pitcher Josh Johnson is retiring from baseball, ESPN’s Jerry Crasnick is reporting.

Johnson, 32, hasn’t pitched in the majors since 2013. The right-hander underwent his third Tommy John surgery in September 2015 but wasn’t able to bounce back.

Johnson spent most of his career with the Marlins, but also pitched for the Blue Jays in the big leagues, as well as the Padres in the minors. He retires with a career 3.40 ERA, 915 strikeouts across 998 innings in the majors, and two All-Star nominations. Johnson led the National League with a 2.30 ERA in 2010, finishing fifth in NL Cy Young Award balloting. One wonders what he could have accomplished if he was able to stay healthy.

Report: Angels close to a multi-year deal with Luis Valbuena

HOUSTON, TX - JULY 08:  Luis Valbuena #18 of the Houston Astros hits a three run walkoff home run in the ninth inning to defeat the Oakland Athletics 10-9 at Minute Maid Park on July 8, 2016 in Houston, Texas.  (Photo by Bob Levey/Getty Images)
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The Angels are nearing a multi-year deal with free agent third baseman Luis Valbuena, Jeff Fletcher of the Orange County Register reports. It’s believed to be a two-year contract with a third-year option.

Valbuena, 31, hit .260/.357/.459 with 13 home runs and 40 RBI in 342 plate appearances in 2016. He missed most of the second half with a hamstring injury, for which he underwent surgery in late August.

Valbuena has played a majority of his career at third base, but also has extensive experience at second base and has racked up innings at first base and shortstop as well. He won’t play every day for the Angels, as Yunel Escobar lays claim to third base and C.J. Cron first base, but he will give them flexibility and a left-handed bat off the bench.