Brandon Phillips has an enemies list

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Brandon Phillips was hit on his wrist during a game against the Nats on August 15th, and claims he has a hairline fracture. Like any normal human being, Phillips has written the perpetrator’s name down in permanent marker and has vowed revenge:

“J.D. Martin,” Phillips said. “You can look at my hat and his name is in there. I write names in my hat and remember who I need to get … Not fighting or nothing, but getting back at that dude. You give some hard look at ’em, let ’em know, let ’em see your name.

Pfft. If he was really serious he’d tattoo Martin’s name on his knuckles or on his back like DeNiro in “Cape Fear.” Or Sideshow Bob in “Cape Feare.”

Actually, if he was really serious, he’d be able to remember the names on his enemies list without having to write them all down. Assuming, at least, that he only has a small number of enemies. Which may not be a safe assumption.

Let’s end spring training now, you guys

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There’s a saying that goes “nothing good ever happens after 2AM.” It can also be said that nothing good ever happens after, say, week 5 or 6 of spring training.

Today, for instance, are a lot of inconsequential games. Those are neutral. Then there are a rash of these sorts of incidents which just went down today, all of which are bad:

Archer seems to be OK for now. Moncada walked off his thing and went back into the game. We’re still waiting to hear on Bumgarner and Ichiro. If there is anything serious with them we’ll update as we learn things.

But really, guys: Spring Training is too long. Even in a year like this one, when it’s a tad shorter than usual because of an early start to the regular season. Everyone who was gonna get their timing down well enough to make a big league roster has already done so. If someone isn’t healthy and in playing shape now, they’re not gonna be six days from now for Opening Day. The cake, as they say, is baked.

All that can happen is possessed-by-the-devil baseballs attacking unsuspecting players and injuring them in meaningless exhibitions. Let’s cease all baseball now until the regular season starts. Out of an abundance of caution.