$437,000 arm, ten-cent head

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Crash: Did you hit me with your right hand or did you hit me with your left?

Nuke: Huh?

Crash: Did you hit me with your right hand or did you hit me with your LEFT?

Nuke: My left.

Crash: Good! That’s good; when you get in a fight with a drunk you don’t hit him with your pitching hand. God, I can’t keep giving you these free lessons so quit screwin’ around and help me up.

Braves right-hander Jeff Bennett has been placed on the 15-day
disabled list a day after breaking his left hand when he punched a door
in frustration. Bennett on Thursday said he was angry after allowing
inherited runners to score on Alex Rodriguez’s two-run single in
Atlanta’s 8-4 loss to the New York Yankees on Wednesday night .

Report: Brewers sign Yovani Gallardo to a major league deal

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Free agent right-hander Yovani Gallardo is headed back to the Brewers on a major league deal, The Athletic’s Ken Rosenthal reports. No other terms have been reported yet, as the agreement is still pending a physical.

Gallardo, 31, completed a one-year run with the Mariners before getting his $13 million option declined by the team last month. He provided little value during his time in Seattle, pitching to a 5-10 record in 22 starts and putting up a 5.72 ERA, 4.1 BB/9 and 6.5 SO/9 in 130 2/3 innings as both a starter and reliever.

Still, assuming the veteran righty is on the cusp of a comeback, he may as well try for it with his original club. Gallardo last appeared for the Brewers from 2007 to 2014, racking up a cumulative 20.8 fWAR and peaking during the 2010 season, when he earned his first All-Star nomination and Silver Slugger award. This will be his ninth career season with the club.

Even with Gallardo aboard, the Brewers are expected to continue deepening their pitching stores for 2018. With team ace Jimmy Nelson still recovering from shoulder surgery, the club will enter the season with a projected rotation of Gallardo, Zach Davies, Chase Anderson and Junior Guerra, the latter of whom pitched just 70 1/3 innings in 2017 following a right calf strain and shin contusion. Another big name pitcher could help cement Milwaukee’s rotation and keep them competitive for another year, though they don’t appear to have made any concrete moves in that direction so far.