$437,000 arm, ten-cent head

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Crash: Did you hit me with your right hand or did you hit me with your left?

Nuke: Huh?

Crash: Did you hit me with your right hand or did you hit me with your LEFT?

Nuke: My left.

Crash: Good! That’s good; when you get in a fight with a drunk you don’t hit him with your pitching hand. God, I can’t keep giving you these free lessons so quit screwin’ around and help me up.

Braves right-hander Jeff Bennett has been placed on the 15-day
disabled list a day after breaking his left hand when he punched a door
in frustration. Bennett on Thursday said he was angry after allowing
inherited runners to score on Alex Rodriguez’s two-run single in
Atlanta’s 8-4 loss to the New York Yankees on Wednesday night .

Royals sign Clay Buchholz to minor league deal

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Bob Nightengale of USA TODAY Sports reports that the Royals have signed pitcher Clay Buchholz to a minor league deal. Buchholz will earn a $1.5 million salary if he makes the club’s major league roster and can earn an additional $250,000 through incentives. Buchholz has an opt-out date set for May 1, which means if he isn’t on the Royals’ 25-man roster by then, he can request his release.

Buchholz, 33, was acquired by the Phillies from the Red Sox in December 2016, but he made only two starts before an MRI revealed he had a partial tear of his right flexor pronator mass. He underwent surgery in April and missed the rest of the season.

The Royals recently lost Jesse Hahn, who was diagnosed with a sprained right UCL. Buchholz would likely be in consideration for a rotation spot if another starter were to suffer an injury. Presently, the Royals’ rotation appears set with Danny Duffy, Ian Kennedy, Jason Hammel, Jake Junis, and Nate Karns.