Canseco to sue MLB. Good luck with that.

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Because steroids are such gosh darn fun, let’s ponder this one for a bit:

Jose Canseco plans to file a class-action lawsuit against Major
League Baseball and the players’ association, saying he’s been
ostracized for going public with tales of steroids use in the sport.

Canseco said Wednesday that he has discussed the suit with lawyers
and intends to enlist Sammy Sosa and Rafael Palmeiro to join in the
suit. Canseco said the basis of the suit would be “lost wages — in
some cases, defamation of character.”

“Because I used steroids and I came out with a book, I was kicked
out of the game, but I have not been inducted into the Hall of Fame,”
Canseco said in a telephone interview.

With a few minor exceptions, this is a fabulous idea! The exceptions
being that (a) Canseco was done as a player after the 2001 season and
came out with his book in 2005, meaning that he couldn’t have been
kicked out of baseball for writing it; (b) Canseco could not have been
“defamed” over steroids when he, you know, has admitted to everyone in
the planet — often with glee — that he did, in fact, do lots and lots
of steroids; (c) There is no such thing as a “class action lawsuit”
that involves Canseco plus whatever small number of players could
cobble together, and even if there was, members of a class action
lawsuit have to have common claims; and (d) neither he nor anyone else
has a legal right to be inducted into the Hall of Fame or to be given a
job in baseball after retirement.

If a court should do anything involving Jose Canseco, it should, in
the interests of public decency, prevent him from taking these media
victory laps and being allowed to spew this kind of garbage each and
every time a new person is connected with steroids. Jose: your 15
minutes ended about 500 minutes ago. Please, for the sake of everyone’s
sanity, go find something quiet to do until you can collect your
pension and thus no longer need to make a spectacle out of yourself for
self-tanner and mesh shirt money.

DOJ settles antirust lawsuit against cable companies who don’t carry Dodgers games

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Last November, the U.S. Department of Justice sued AT&T, accusing its subsidiary, DirecTV, of being the ringleader in a plot in which it conspired with Cox Communications, Charter Communications and AT&T cable (then a separate company), to refuse to carry SportsNet LA, the Dodger-owned TV channel in violation of antitrust laws.

Now that lawsuit is over. The DOJ settled with AT&T last night.

The bad news: no part of the settlement obligates DirecTV or any of the other alleged co-conspirators to carry Dodgers games or to even negotiate to that end. There is likewise no fine or truly substantive penalty. It’s basically a “do not do this again!” agreement with some antitrust training requirements for executives and some orders to monitor their communications about these things.

“We are pleased to have resolved this matter to the satisfaction of all parties,” an AT&T spokesman said yesterday, likely in the tone of a guy who is pretty happy to have had a major antitrust suit against him settled so quickly.

When the suit was filed, I anticipated a settlement, as most antitrust suits brought by the DOJ are settled. Such a settlement could’ve featured a cash penalty or, more significantly, a brokered agreement between the parties in question in lieu of a cash settlement that could’ve led to Dodgers games being carried on more channels. After all, more competition is the end game of the Antirust Division.

As it is, however, it’s hard to see this as anything other than a surrender by the DOJ and a victory for the those carriers who coordinated their efforts to not carry the Dodgers.

An open question, unanswered in anyone’s statements yesterday, is whether this settlement is 100% about the merits of the case — keeping in mind that the DOJ tends not file antitrust suits unless they think they can win, instead preferring to negotiate first — or whether it represents a new set of laxer priorities when it comes to antitrust enforcement from the Trump Administration and AG Jeff Sessions.

Video: Jake Arrieta hits a 465-foot home run off of Zack Greinke

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Jake Arrieta‘s bat is in midseason form already. The Cubs’ ace swatted a solo home run to center field off of Zack Greinke in Thursday afternoon’s Grapefruit League exhibition game, his first homer of the spring.

The blast went 465 feet, according to MLB.com’s Daren Willman.

Arrieta has hit two home runs in each of the past two seasons. Madison Bumgarner (eight) and Noah Syndergaard (four) are the only other pitchers to match or exceed his output in that department.

Greinke, meanwhile, is hoping to bounce back after a miserable 2016 season. He finished with an uncharacteristic 4.37 ERA in 26 starts in his first year with the Diamondbacks.