Because steroids are such gosh darn fun, let’s ponder this one for a bit:
Jose Canseco plans to file a class-action lawsuit against Major
League Baseball and the players’ association, saying he’s been
ostracized for going public with tales of steroids use in the sport.
Canseco said Wednesday that he has discussed the suit with lawyers
and intends to enlist Sammy Sosa and Rafael Palmeiro to join in the
suit. Canseco said the basis of the suit would be “lost wages — in
some cases, defamation of character.”
“Because I used steroids and I came out with a book, I was kicked
out of the game, but I have not been inducted into the Hall of Fame,”
Canseco said in a telephone interview.
With a few minor exceptions, this is a fabulous idea! The exceptions
being that (a) Canseco was done as a player after the 2001 season and
came out with his book in 2005, meaning that he couldn’t have been
kicked out of baseball for writing it; (b) Canseco could not have been
“defamed” over steroids when he, you know, has admitted to everyone in
the planet — often with glee — that he did, in fact, do lots and lots
of steroids; (c) There is no such thing as a “class action lawsuit”
that involves Canseco plus whatever small number of players could
cobble together, and even if there was, members of a class action
lawsuit have to have common claims; and (d) neither he nor anyone else
has a legal right to be inducted into the Hall of Fame or to be given a
job in baseball after retirement.
If a court should do anything involving Jose Canseco, it should, in
the interests of public decency, prevent him from taking these media
victory laps and being allowed to spew this kind of garbage each and
every time a new person is connected with steroids. Jose: your 15
minutes ended about 500 minutes ago. Please, for the sake of everyone’s
sanity, go find something quiet to do until you can collect your
pension and thus no longer need to make a spectacle out of yourself for
self-tanner and mesh shirt money.