Attention ladies: Barry Bonds is available

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Barry Bonds’ wife has filed for legal separation. If those crazy kids can’t make it work, what hope do the rest of us have?

In case you’re curious, yes, this means that prosecutors could
theoretically add her to the witness list in the perjury case if they
want because divorce proceedings waive the rule which prohibits prosecutors from calling your spouse against you
(I’m assuming this includes filings of legal separation, but someone
correct me if I’m wrong). However, she would still not be allowed to
testify about conversations that only she and Barry had during their
marriage because Bonds is still entitled to rely on the marital communications privilege.
Upshot: if the soon-to-be former Mrs. Bonds has evidence that Barry was
knowingly juicing, it could now theoretically come to light, but not if
the only way she knew about it was because Barry told her so in
confidence.

Of course my use of the term “theoretically” is
important here, because if the soon-to-be-former Mrs. Bonds has a
lawyer with a pulse, she knows that her promise not to say nothin’ to
nobody will raise her divorce settlement substantially.

President Obama Welcomes the Cubs to the White House

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As we noted last week, The Chicago Cubs took the unusual step of not waiting until the summer after winning the World Series to make their customary White House visit to meet the president. They did it today, seeing President Obama a few short days before he leaves office.

Despite the fact that Obama is a White Sox fan, he met the Cubs with diplomacy and grace. It’s almost as if he’s been in that business for the past eight years. In return, he was given some gifts by the Cubs: Theo Epstein presented Obama with a No. 44 Cubs jersey, a tile from the center field scoreboard at Wrigley Field, and a lifetime pass to Wrigley as well.

Obama is staying in D.C. after he leaves office this week, hanging around so his daughter can finish high school in the same place she started. Even so, he’s likely going to be back to Chicago a good bit over the rest of his life, so he’ll likely be able to put the free pass to work. Assuming it comes with, like, six companion passes for his Secret Service detail.

Royals sign Danny Duffy to a five-year, $65 million contract extension

KANSAS CITY, MO - SEPTEMBER 02:  Starting pitcher Danny Duffy #41 of the Kansas City Royals pitches during the game against the Detroit Tigers at Kauffman Stadium on September 2, 2016 in Kansas City, Missouri.  (Photo by Jamie Squire/Getty Images)
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The Kansas City Royals have signed starter Danny Duffy to a five-year, $65 million contract extension.

Duffy was arbitration eligible this offseason and would’ve been a free agent next winter if he hadn’t signed the deal. Given his stuff he might’ve made a mint as a free agent, but he’s also been inconsistent at times and any pitcher is an injury away from losing a payday, making this a nice, lucrative bet for the lefty.

Duffy, 28, posted a 3.51 ERA and a 188/42 K/BB ratio across 179.2 innings in 2016.