And That Happened: Monday's scores and recaps

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Tigers 5, White Sox 4:
After the game, Ozzie Guillen was mad at his poor-performing team and
said this: “If this was the 1980s, [none] of these guys would be in the
big leagues right now, because if you hit .210-.230 and you can’t
execute, I don’t think you should be out here.” I was gonna be all
clever and make fun of Ozzie Guillen the player, but he never hit below
.245 in a full season as a starter. Not that he was good or anything —
in fact, he was quite awful with the bat — but he framed the argument
in terms of batting average, so I’ll let it slide. Other things that
wouldn’t be here if it was the 80s: U.S. Cellular Field; Ozzie
Guillen’s belly, and the grown up version of every player on the roster
short of Jose Contreras, who I think was born during the Ramón Grau
San Martin administration. The first term. Zing!

White Sox 6, Tigers 1:
On second thought, maybe I shouldn’t have made fun of Old Man Contreras
(8 IP, 1 H, 0 ER). Young Gordon Beckham, on the other hand, is now 0-13
to start off his career.

Rockies 5, Cardinals 2:
Jason Marquis wins his eighth, which leads the National League. This
has to be either evidence that wins don’t mean a thing, or evidence
that the talent gulf between the American and National Leagues is
larger than ever, because I sure as hell ain’t gonna admit that Jason
Marquis is any good. My out: maybe the Cardinals are just really bad.
They certainly are lately, as they were swept 4-0 buy Colorado, and
were outscored 33-9 in the process.

Marlins 4, Giants 0:
Sean West dominates the Giants (8 IP, 2 H, 0 ER, 6K). In contrast,
Randy Johnson is now 0-1 for his career on short rest following the
achievement of significant milestone games during which he fell on his
ass while awkwardly fielding a dribbler to the mound. Seriously, you
can look it up.

Yankees 5, Rays 3:
Another hogshead of home runs in Yankee Stadium will no doubt have
people again wondering about the place again. The Yankees will no doubt
claim that the fences are the same distance from home plate as they
were in the old Stadium. And if you don’t believe them, they’ll let you
inspect the survey records, which have been on display down at Yankee
headquarters for the past nine months. They can be found down in the
cellar with the use of a flashlight, since the lights have gone. Be
careful, though, because so have the stairs. Anyway, they’re in the
bottom of a locked filing cabinet in a disused lavatory with a sign on
the door saying “Beware of the Leopard.” See for yourself.

Braves 7, Pirates 6:
Yet another marathon ends with Bobby Cox’s 2000th win with the Braves.
Listen to him boast about it after the game: “All it means is that
you’re getting old and you’ve been around too long.” Stay sassy, Bobby!
Nate McLouth had a nice game against his old mates. Whenever I see
something like this so quickly after a trade I wonder if the player’s
old team just hadn’t gotten around to changing the signs yet. Worth
noting that Andrew McCutchen had a better game. Not that this will stop
all of the Pirates fans from complaining about their team’s annual
selloff.

Blue Jays 6, Rangers 3:
Adam Lind jacks two dingers and has now matched his previous best for
homers in a season with 11, set in 2007. He’s also about 100 points of
OBP and 150 points of slugging ahead of where he was that year too.

Athletics 4, Twins 3:
The A’s extend their winning streak to seven, which is their longest in
three years. Scary moment for Aaron Cunningham, who was hit in the head
in the fourth inning. He stayed in the game for a while, but was
eventually taken to the hospital where he was diagnosed with a
concussion.

Padres 6, Diamondbacks 3:
Adrian Gonzalez is leading the majors in walks, and was given three
more free passes last night. This time Kevin Kouzmanoff — who hits
behind Gonzalez — made someone pay for it, driving in four runs.

Rangers sign Carlos Gomez to a one-year, $11.5 million deal

ARLINGTON, TX - OCTOBER 07:  Carlos Gomez #14 of the Texas Rangers looks on in the seventh inning against the Toronto Blue Jays in game two of the American League Divison Series at Globe Life Park in Arlington on October 7, 2016 in Arlington, Texas.  (Photo by Scott Halleran/Getty Images)
Scott Halleran/Getty Images
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Ken Rosenthal of FOX Sports reports that the Rangers have signed outfielder Carlos Gomez to a one-year deal. Joel Sherman of the New York Post reports that Gomez will earn $11.5 million next season.

Gomez, 31, struggled with the Astros to a .594 OPS before the club released him in mid-August. The Rangers signed him shortly thereafter and were immediately rewarded. Gomez hit .284/.362/.543 with eight home runs and 24 RBI in 130 plate appearances through the end of the regular season.

As presently constructed, Gomez would likely take over in center field with Nomar Mazara handling left and Shin-Soo Choo in right.

Report: Diamondbacks close to signing Fernando Rodney

MIAMI, FL - AUGUST 24: Fernando Rodney #56 of the Miami Marlins celebrates after the game against the Kansas City Royals at Marlins Park on August 24, 2016 in Miami, Florida. (Photo by Rob Foldy/Getty Images)
Rob Foldy/Getty Images
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Jon Heyman of FanRag Sports reports that the Diamondbacks are close to signing free agent reliever Fernando Rodney.

Rodney, 39, has been inconsistent over the past two seasons. This past season, he was lights-out with the Padres, posting a 0.31 ERA in 28 appearances. After the Marlins acquired him at the end of June, he struggled to a 5.89 ERA in 39 appearances.

Brad Ziegler, who closed for the Diamondbacks in the first half last season, went to the Red Sox in a midseason trade and is now a free agent. The Diamondbacks had six other relievers register a save, but only Daniel Hudson and Jake Barrett recorded more than one. Adding Rodney will give the club some stability in the ninth inning.