And That Happened: Monday's scores and recaps

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Tigers 5, White Sox 4:
After the game, Ozzie Guillen was mad at his poor-performing team and
said this: “If this was the 1980s, [none] of these guys would be in the
big leagues right now, because if you hit .210-.230 and you can’t
execute, I don’t think you should be out here.” I was gonna be all
clever and make fun of Ozzie Guillen the player, but he never hit below
.245 in a full season as a starter. Not that he was good or anything —
in fact, he was quite awful with the bat — but he framed the argument
in terms of batting average, so I’ll let it slide. Other things that
wouldn’t be here if it was the 80s: U.S. Cellular Field; Ozzie
Guillen’s belly, and the grown up version of every player on the roster
short of Jose Contreras, who I think was born during the Ramón Grau
San Martin administration. The first term. Zing!

White Sox 6, Tigers 1:
On second thought, maybe I shouldn’t have made fun of Old Man Contreras
(8 IP, 1 H, 0 ER). Young Gordon Beckham, on the other hand, is now 0-13
to start off his career.

Rockies 5, Cardinals 2:
Jason Marquis wins his eighth, which leads the National League. This
has to be either evidence that wins don’t mean a thing, or evidence
that the talent gulf between the American and National Leagues is
larger than ever, because I sure as hell ain’t gonna admit that Jason
Marquis is any good. My out: maybe the Cardinals are just really bad.
They certainly are lately, as they were swept 4-0 buy Colorado, and
were outscored 33-9 in the process.

Marlins 4, Giants 0:
Sean West dominates the Giants (8 IP, 2 H, 0 ER, 6K). In contrast,
Randy Johnson is now 0-1 for his career on short rest following the
achievement of significant milestone games during which he fell on his
ass while awkwardly fielding a dribbler to the mound. Seriously, you
can look it up.

Yankees 5, Rays 3:
Another hogshead of home runs in Yankee Stadium will no doubt have
people again wondering about the place again. The Yankees will no doubt
claim that the fences are the same distance from home plate as they
were in the old Stadium. And if you don’t believe them, they’ll let you
inspect the survey records, which have been on display down at Yankee
headquarters for the past nine months. They can be found down in the
cellar with the use of a flashlight, since the lights have gone. Be
careful, though, because so have the stairs. Anyway, they’re in the
bottom of a locked filing cabinet in a disused lavatory with a sign on
the door saying “Beware of the Leopard.” See for yourself.

Braves 7, Pirates 6:
Yet another marathon ends with Bobby Cox’s 2000th win with the Braves.
Listen to him boast about it after the game: “All it means is that
you’re getting old and you’ve been around too long.” Stay sassy, Bobby!
Nate McLouth had a nice game against his old mates. Whenever I see
something like this so quickly after a trade I wonder if the player’s
old team just hadn’t gotten around to changing the signs yet. Worth
noting that Andrew McCutchen had a better game. Not that this will stop
all of the Pirates fans from complaining about their team’s annual
selloff.

Blue Jays 6, Rangers 3:
Adam Lind jacks two dingers and has now matched his previous best for
homers in a season with 11, set in 2007. He’s also about 100 points of
OBP and 150 points of slugging ahead of where he was that year too.

Athletics 4, Twins 3:
The A’s extend their winning streak to seven, which is their longest in
three years. Scary moment for Aaron Cunningham, who was hit in the head
in the fourth inning. He stayed in the game for a while, but was
eventually taken to the hospital where he was diagnosed with a
concussion.

Padres 6, Diamondbacks 3:
Adrian Gonzalez is leading the majors in walks, and was given three
more free passes last night. This time Kevin Kouzmanoff — who hits
behind Gonzalez — made someone pay for it, driving in four runs.

Derek Jeter doesn’t have the money to buy the Marlins

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Derek Jeter met with Major League Baseball yesterday and told them that he does not yet have the money to purchase the Miami Marlins, reports the Associated Press.

Jeter bid $1.3 billion for the Marlins, as did the group led by Tagg Romney and Tom Glavine. Bidding is one thing, however. Cash on the barrelhead is another. Jeter has been trying to wrangle together an investment group since Jeb Bush pulled out of his bid, but still hasn’t pulled it off. There are reportedly other groups still in the hunt.

If only there was someone else with baseball and Miami ties he could call.

And That Happened: Thursday’s Scores and Highlights

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Here are the scores. Here are the highlights:

Phillies 5, Cardinals 1: Aaron Nola allowed one run on four hits in seven and a third while striking out eight and Freddy Galvis and Tommy Joseph homered. The Phillies snap a five-game losing streak.

White Sox 9, Twins 0: Twins starter Nik Turley got lit up for five runs in only two-thirds of an inning of work, allowing two-run homers to Jose Abreu and Todd Frazier in the first inning. After that it was all just paperwork and Jose Quintana tossing shutout ball into the seventh. Quintana has had some of the worst run support in baseball over the course of his career. Getting nine runs to play with had to feel weird. In other news, this game featured a 4 hours, 50 minute rain delay to begin proceedings. That’s patently ridiculous. If the delay to start the game is almost twice as long as the game is, you probably should’ve just postponed the dang thing.

Rangers 11, Blue Jays 4: Texas built a 7-0 lead after four behind homers from Mike Napoli, Carlos Gomez and Robinson Chirinos. Gomez added another dinger later and had give RBI on the day. On the year Gomez is hitting .267/.346/.515 and is on a 20-homer pace. Not too bad for a guy who missed a month due to a bad hammie. And not bad for a guy a lot of people were writing off after a couple of bad years in Houston.

Brewers 4, Pirates 2: Travis Shaw knocked a home run and two doubles, driving in three runs and starter Chase Anderson allowed two runs and two hits in six innings for the Brewers. Closer Corey Knebel set a record for the most consecutive games by a reliever with a strikeout at a season’s start — 38 — while picking up his 12th save. He has 68Ks in 37.2 innings of work.

Diamondbacks 10, Rockies 3: Paul Goldschmidt and Chris Owings hit three-run homers and starter Zack Godley allowed three runs in seven innings of work. The Dbacks take two of three from Colorado, routing them with a combined score of 26-8 in the past two games.

Astros 12, Athletics 9: Josh ReddickJake Marisnick and Marwin Gonzalez all homered as the Astros complete the four-game sweep. They’ve beaten the A’s ten straight times in Oakland and have taken 15 of 16 overall. They own the A’s so thoroughly that they’ve started to get invited to planning meetings with the city over possible locations for the new A’s ballpark.

Indians 6, Orioles 3Austin Jackson had three hits and three RBI and Erik Gonzalez homered as the Indianas take 3 of 4 from the reeling Orioles. Cleveland just went 7-1 on a road trip and now hold a two and a half game lead over the Twins in the division. Feels kinda like order has been restored in the AL Central.

Cubs 11, Marlins 1: Russell hit two doubles, a homer, drove in two and had four hits overall.  Kris Bryant had a three-run homer, Willson Contreras hit a two-run shot and Ian Happ had four hits and drove in a pair. The Cubs have won 4 of 5. Maybe order is on the way to being restored in the NL Central as well.

Angels 10, Yankees 5: Aaron Judge went deep for his 25th homer of the year but that was the only good thing for the Bombers, who blew an early 5-1 lead. The Angels rallied for four runs in the seventh thanks in part to a couple of Yankees errors and a wild pitch. That wild pitch came from Dellin Betances, who allowed his first earned run in 22 games. In the eighth, Yankees reliever Domingo German threw a wild pitch and bounced a pickoff toss to first that allowed a run to score. Ug-ly.

Braves 12, Giants 11: Atlanta rode an 8-run fifth inning to victory. It was bookended by falling behind early and allowing some late runs late, so things were nonetheless close. They had not scored that many runs in an inning since the 2011 season. Their nine hits that inning tied a mark last set in 2004. Matt Adams, Lane Adams, Nick Markakis and Brandon Phillips all homered for Atlanta, who took three of four. The Giants’ road trip ends on a 1-7 mark. I guess you could say that they left their game in San Francisco.

Mariners 9, Tigers 6: Robinson Cano hit a grand slam and a two-run homer to lead the M’s to their fifth straight victory. Rookie Andrew Moore got the callup to replace the struggling Yovani Gallardo in the rotation and debuted with seven solid innings. The Mariners moved above .500 for the first time this year.

Dodgers 6, Mets 3: The sweep. Joc Pederson, Justin Turner and Kiké Hernandez all homered for the Dodgers. No word if the home run trots were fast enough. The Dodgers hit 15 homers in the four-game series, so the Mets had a lot of time to gauge the matter. L.A. also drew nine walks in the game.The Dodgers have won seven consecutive games and 13 of their last 14.